I was looking over photographs on deviantart.com of men, and I realized that all of the men photographed are either very thin, buff or old. There are no photos of men without 6 pack abs unless they're old men. What's with that? The women I know want a world where having a flat stomach, big breasts and the perfect ass aren't requirements for acceptance into the realm of beautiful and yet, look at this.

I knew there was a societal stress on men to look a certain way but this honestly surprised me. Women can be sexy and beautiful and interesting in many different shapes and sizes but it seems that, to the art world, if you're a man and are not in the standardized ideal of perfect shape, you're relegated to sad or clown. This disappointed me.
Just thought I'd throw it out there.

August 29, 2009

My Love,
You are not the muse, you are breath. Life and the act of living. You are memory and song and exalted voices crying out into blue skies and thick air. You are sticky skin, tears and careless smiles. Prayer and sin. What many would call a state of cognitive dissonance, we call consonance and claim as home. We are your texture. We are your warriors and artists. We are your dancers and cooks and dreamers. Your children. We carry your banner. And in your layers we tell and weave our stories with you as our companion. You rise on tender legs with a fierce determination that we match with all that we have.

Our city is a living, breathing act of redemption. No matter how adversarial the times, the circumstances, we are a resilient people who persevere because we know no other way. Those loyal to you cannot fail. Surrender is not in our vocabulary.

Our losses are profound and we experience them still. When looking back we are once again emotionally rooted in the last days of August 2005, shocked that 4 years to have passed and yet there is no distance from the pain. And yet we have learned through these incredible trials and injustices, that these are survivable. And though we live with a sadness that will likely never leave us, we are left with you. I could not wish for a more wondrous and unusual state of Grace. I am sustained by my love and by My Love.

( 2007, 2006 and 2005 Love Letters )

Tonight was wonderful.

Went to Pravda to see Marrus and purchase her book, "Lightsurfing: Living Life in the Front of My Mouth"
It is an anecdotal, illustrated, autobiographical journey of what it takes to carve your own path in the world, make a living at it, and all the wild, weird, and whack things that happen as a result.

It’s 186, full-color, 7x10" pages full of paintings & the nascent sketches that inspired them. There are skinned deer and burned out buildings. There are some felonies, but the statute of limitations has run out, so the guilty are safe. There's sex & some kinky stuff, and hefty chunks of wisdom that I hope will inspire, and mebbe stop some younger folks from making the dumb, fear-based mistakes I made.


And I must tell you, I recommend this book to everyone who is friends with me, is an art lover, an artist, a warrior spirit, a lover of life and an eater of fire. It is an inspired work and I absolutely adored it. Go. Buy!

She looked beautiful as always and held court as only a lady can.

From there to Green Goddess for dinner. Chef and the staff were more than generous and Remy and I were thrilled to be able to dive into this much praised fare. And not only were we not disappointed, we were shocked. I'm hesitant to call a meal transcendent. It sounds so trite but I really can't think of a better way to put it. This meal literally changed my mind about food. I know that I am more open to new culinary experiences than ever I have been. I was shocked. Amazed. Sockless.
So onto the good stuff, enough of me gushing.

I was recommended a Mil Piedras Malbec from Patagonia and I want more. Right now. And it's nearly 8 a.m. When it comes to this place, ask for recommendations from the staff. They won't steer you wrong. They believe in what they're doing and their passion shows.

Array of Vegetables with Two Dipping Sauces
Roasted asparagus, Mardi Gras Indian cauliflower, choice of duck fat or crab-boil potatoes, radishes, & seasonal guest star vegetable, with roasted garlic aioli and romesco sauce. A good plate to share!

Asparagus was perfect, the cauliflower was delightful (like a less crisp carrot almost), duck fat potato chips (I want a heaping helping of these wrapped in newspaper that makes a cone shape, I'll just walk around munching happily for hours), radishes aren't my thing and as for the seasonal veggies... roasted jalapenos (yum), red pepper and hearts of palm. The hearts of palm were really new to me. Soft and slightly crunchy? Strange, I don't know if I'd eat them again. The sauces were really good and complimented different vegetables wonderfully.

Niigata Bruschetta
Edamame & Mint “Tapenade” with Crazy Wintry Malted Chiles from Far North Japan on Olive Fougasse Bread.

Get the fuck outta town. Bruschetta? Maybe that's the proper name for it but Oh-My-God on Olive Fougasse Bread is what I'm calling it from now on. I'd like an order of Oh-My-God on Olive Fougasse Bread please. There were so many layers of flavours that opened up here. Some mellow warmth with a light smoke and vivid 'green' flavor thanks to the edamame and fresh garden mint. Remy, never having had bruschetta before, is completely and happily ruined now.

Bison and Bacon Meatloaf
Twice baked potato & roasted asparagus wrapped in Serrano ham, spicy steak sauce.

Remy ordered this. I'd never had meatloaf before. It was something I had heard of, grimaced at and was happy that it happened to other people. This wasn't like what I'd heard about. This was delicious. Lean and thick, exactly what I wanted from something savory. The steak sauce was just right and there wasn't too much of it. Potato was yummy and I snarfed his asparagus in serrano.

Cochon de Lait/Lei
Smoky pulled pork seasoned with Hawaiian black lava salt & wrapped in banana leaves, with sweet potato cakes, adobo mess o’ greens.

Sweet potatoes have never been my thing. I like the flavour fine but the texture has always bothered me, also why I don't eat beans. Anyway, these were quite good, topped with sesame seeds. The greens were a shock to the mouth with some kind of vinegar. It reminded me a lot of something one would eat with barbecue. And the pork. The pork. The beautiful, beautiful pork. It was indeed smoky, it was sweet in a way that was not at all in competition to the smoke. It was excellent. I may well dream about it. In fact, if I could sprinkle this over my cone of duck fat chips, I'd be in heaven. Truly in the top two best pulled pork meals I've ever had.

Chilled Watermelon-Ginger Soup
Local watermelon pureed with ginger; crushed avocado & jumbo lump crabmeat. $8

I thought I was surprised enough by the bruschetta, but this... This was a spectacular ending. I had no idea what to think about this soup before it came. And when it came, I still had no idea what to think. It was beautiful, as was every plate before it. The soup was a lovely pink with the avocado in the center and crab on top. We tried this in stages. The liquid was like a bite of watermelon with a little bit of that white rind. Then some avocado with the liquid. Like a bite of watermelon with salt on. Then all 3. And the crabmeat made perfect sense! I swear. It was like being 7. A crab boil. Warm day playing in the sun. After the crab you hustle over to the watermelon bowl and get yourself a chunk and run to play. The sweetness of the soup with the saltiness of the avocado married beautifully with the sweet, salty nature of the crab.

All in all, the only place I like as much is Cochon and that's for completely different reasons. This food really is exciting. And I will happily return at every available opportunity. You should too.



Then a photoshoot with two guys, Scott and Ben, who put up with my requests admirably.

I'm going to go crawl in bed with a beautiful man with silver stripes who adores me, who I adore right back and sleep peacefully.

The wash of tender chill began yesterday. Just enough of a temperature drop to release the choke hold that humidity had on the skin. My night started quite late with a walk to the Mississippi River and a ferry ride over it. On my walk I sang. Alone but not alone with all of the neighborhood cats making fun work of night moths and grasshoppers. Ribbons of honeysuckle floated by, each time bringing a smile to my face.

It was a night of honesty, hilarity, dancing, stories, charming and compliments that I never saw coming.

This morning and this evening I've been able to really enjoy our backyard again instead of just tending it.

August is often an unforgiving month. It carries with it the weight of sadness now. Anxiety for some. We move anyway. Despite it. Because of it. I love more fully now. I forgive less easily. I draw my boundaries with darker strokes. I give more of myself because time has taught me that it is impossible for me to lose what I give. August can be so oppressive. But from the time that August 23 began, it was kind, gentle, beautiful and graceful. And I was able to be a part of it.

We are having the most divine cool front right now.
This morning was so warm, this afternoon and evening it's in the 70's with a cool breeze.
The cicadas are rioting to the right and a black woman with a serious set of pipes is singing at the bar to my left. It sounds like she's singing in my backyard.
Summer in New Orleans.
An Abita in my hand and Cajun food made by Mom and I in my belly.
Nothing else is so perfect.

When words become unclear, I shall focus with photographs. When images become inadequate, I shall be content with silence.
~Ansel Adams